优优即墨者

      My left ear goes weak again.
      "again like last year?" Emily yelled when she heard of this.
      "no, it's two years ago." I said.
      "wa-o, it has been so long." she sighed and as if realised suddenly, "and you have been got out from your incredible happiness and unbearable pain."
      And i felt someone cried inside of my heart.
      "you should go to see doctor immediately, knowing that no one will accompany you again. you should treasure yourself." she naged to me.
      I knew the situation, then i called Sherry to tell her that i would go to hospital and expected her there if i had to stay late.
      fortunately, i was told that my ear seemed good and just brought some medicine home. unfortunately, i still felt bad with my left ear; it was just as same as two years ago. no one could explain it.
      I went back home and rested, then i got the call, from him.
      without expectation, though i decided long time ago i won't say anything to him again, i picked up my phone.
      "are you OK?" he asked.
      "just fine. nothing serious." i replied to him.
      The conversation couldn't last for long, because we both got into silence without any deep intention. the phone was hanged off accidently and turned off at once.
      my heart closed down. the sick ear reminded me the beautiful experience with him at that time; he was a good, temperate fellow and easy lover who escorted me to the hospital and spent whole day with me there, promising me he would cook for me if I had to be in the hospital for days. He was my biggest happy secret and i thought him as the gift from God.  
      but who has forecasted our journey would be good or bad?
      we departed with complicated reasons i never could think about, and i tortureed by the painful feeling of lost my most valuable love every day and night. now he becomes the awful secret i cannot mention again and he is the sin that i won't forgive in my life. i have suffered this pain for two years, and i know this feeling will continue. but i still appreciate that God had ever brought me such a piece of short-lived happiness.
      my huge happiness, unimaginable happiness, and my huge pain, heart-struck pain, they all gone far far way along with time passing, every minute and every second.